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August 25th, 2008
05:43 am - today
5/25/08: today is a scary day.
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July 16th, 2008
03:08 am - yumm
soon i will have delicious homegrown shiitake mushrooms growing...hopefully.
setting up my incubator/humidifier tonight.
new batman this week. sweet.
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July 2nd, 2008
03:40 pm - well
as of yesterday, salvia is illegal to buy, sell, and possess in Florida.
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March 19th, 2008
10:45 am - the best day of the year
Today is St. Joseph's day. Italian pastry time!
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March 12th, 2008
03:06 pm
I was in a classroom the other day and overheard some students talking. One was talking about being an anarchist, and the other replied with:
"You can't be an anarchist, you're not following the rules the right way."
And then I laughed.
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March 8th, 2008
03:20 am - Katrina
My home is now a human only environment. I can't remember when i didn't have my cat, and now she is gone. Kidney failure. But she is still now. And painless.
I couldn't sleep and Ashley made me feel comforted. But I'm still so sad. This is such a weird feeling. I feel complete loneliness.
In the last 2 weeks I've lost my only creative inspiration. I told her how I felt, very vaguely, but no matter what I said, I don't think words can do my situation justice. They just make me sound like a lunatic. And I admit it was a weird situation. I felt an obsession that I could not control. I never wanted to date her. I never lusted over her beauty. I think all I really wanted was to be her friend. I can't even find anything new to write about. October 2006 until now has brought many writings, drawings, and songs, along with the agony of an uncontrollable subconscious. My mind has finally rested on the matter, I just remain completely unmotivated and with nothing to say. If there is nothing to say, it's not really worth doing. I need something to say.
Current Music: azure ray
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March 3rd, 2008
09:50 am - a wonderful weekend
in our great state's capitol, yeehawww!
nothing like long drives, new friends, old friends, lots of music, food stamps, wiffle ball, 1000 piece "First Lady" jigsaw puzzles, and beaches with really sharp fucking barnacles on trees.
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February 19th, 2008
03:31 pm - So I was taking a math test today
And I realized something. It has come to my attention that some people keep their toothbrush in a bathroom drawer, rather than a toothbrush holder, because when they poop, they don't want poop-particles getting into their toothbrush, which would of course lead to brushing their teeth with poop. BUT... because when someone poops, they themselves are exposed to the particles as well right? Which means they would need a gas mask with an air filter, or be able to hold their breath and keep their mouth shut the entire time during the pooping process. So this means that the particles are bound to enter your body either way.
I keep my toothbrush in a drawer. But that's just because I always forget which one is mine and I don't want to use my sister's because she probably wouldn't like it.
well, that's it.
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February 13th, 2008
01:24 am - random things
I feel generally unhappy lately.
I'm constantly back and forth from doctor to doctor: "yes you'll be fine." "no you will need surgery" and back and forth. That's not too big a deal though. I got a better car out of it.
I don't believe that there is one specific thing making me feel this way, but rather a build up of many things. Ever hold something in and get so mad you punch a wall or something? It's kind of like that, but I don't feel the need to release. In fact, lately I feel better just holding everything in. It seems nobody can keep secrets, which is fine, because if someone doesn't want people to know, they shouldn't tell anyone at all.
Angie and I have been broken up for a year just past valentines day. She knows the date; I personally don't care enough to remember. This year alone has really changed me. As if I went from being caged up from expressing anything about myself, to completely unleashing everything new. A lot of new things have happened since a year ago. I've tried new things, met new people, visited new places...
I can't write anything new. I am so "creatively constipated", as Ashley put it earlier, that I feel sick just thinking about writing. If I write anything at all, it is about that girl. The one that everyone knows about and has talked to me about, except for her. I feel that it's gotten past a point of "never liking anyone so much" to "obsessively creepy." She doesn't even consider my existence as a friend, or anything else, yet I still feel guilty talking to other girls.
My thyroid might not work the right way, which is bad, so I had to get blood work done the other day.
I'm glad I began knitting again; I feel like now sitting around alone isn't such a complete waste of time.
I think I get like this about once a year. It seems all at once, I am betrayed, and laughed at, and not included in activities I normally would be. It might just be me, which is fine.
I think I will pretend to be a millionaire so that lady on TV can hook me up with some major love-babe.
There are few movies I actually come out and say I dislike; but don't watch fucking The Last Kiss or One Last Kiss or something like that. What a shitty movie. And also, Gilbert Grape. Fuck that guy. The acting was very good, but if I wanted to watch some unwealthy redneck family living daily life with no real story line at all, I would go drive around in my own fucking neighborhood, thank you very much. I don't care how many awards it got.
I think the internet is both great, yet horrible at the same time. Nothing should be able to distract us so much from our own life. Well for some, the internet IS their life. And sometimes it is mine, mostly every weekday night. I am in the middle of I think 7 or 8 books because my attention span is so shitty. I can't finish anything I start so I feel obligated to start something new.
Thanks for listening.
Current Music: iron and wine
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February 11th, 2008
09:47 am
I miss AP Literature. I miss Ms. Lawlor. And, I miss how everyone in that class was more intelligent and interesting than most people in my college classes. And you know 5th period was the her favorite, and 3rd was lame!
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January 28th, 2008
10:44 pm - I feel like sharing this one
Last night I dreamed that Thom Yorke was a professional football player. He was the captain/quarterback, and when the game played through my mind, it was in slow motion montage technique with "Electioneering" as the background music. It was awesome.
Current Music: radiohead, of course
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January 11th, 2008
01:33 am
I got the shit beat out of me tonight by a 7 year old girl. Fighting back would have been like kicking a puppy. Poor Adam too. She enjoys ball punching, cannon balls, stomping on my herniated disks of a back, and thanks to some bitch named phoebe, wedgies.
I will not have kids cause if I did I would go to jail.
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January 9th, 2008
09:53 am - He pasco county teachers
Start getting sick. I'm freakin' broke!
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January 6th, 2008
03:45 am - not a resolution but
I started a dream book. where i write my dreams. It's fun so far, and makes me realize that I love not being awake.
Current Music: Kid A
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January 1st, 2008
10:24 pm
This weekend I get to go on a campout with this guy!
oh wait I meant this guy,
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December 24th, 2007
03:12 am
0 for 3
any takers for lucky number 4? all you have to do is be completely uninterested.
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December 9th, 2007
06:55 pm
josh is home from orlando so im happy
finals are this week so im sad
poetry reading thursday so im happy
broken guitar so im sad (actually fucking pissed and too broke to fix it)
best line up for a local show ever on saturday so im happy!
woo! ya! alright!
Current Music: godspeeeeed
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December 4th, 2007
11:18 pm
She sat alone and sang along
To the songs of the wind,
It blew the hair into her eyes
Forcing a temporary blindness producing an infinite sight of psychological freedom,
And from that, I wept.
We take for granted those brief moments of blindness--
We rush for sight,
But when it is so easy to see, is our imagination not limited?
Only through blindness will we find our true selves.
Perhaps Kierkegaard was right, I mean,
Without doubt, where is there reason?
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December 1st, 2007
03:00 am
I don't know. 6 people in late night is a lot sometimes when I think some songs would be better off simple. I think I will learn the accordian.
accordian and concertina would be pretty awesome together. winter break, expect new things.
December 15th is going to be an awesome show. Trenton, Alexander and the Grapes, Brer, Late Night, Oh Mountain and maybe some of Matt's stuff. 10 bucks at the royalty theatre clearwater. 7pm
I would love to work on artwork a bit more. and my writing needs workshopssssss. i start creative writing class again next semester and it's going to be awesome, i think.
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Current Music: John Cage "excerpts- 8pm to 9pm"
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November 28th, 2007
03:05 am
In your shadows, I have hid,
Lurking behind, hoping that you will drop even the smallest of crumbs.
After eating from your discarded abundance of food and personality,
I wonder if I will ever become full of what you have to offer.
Still day after day I carry much more than just my weight;
I deliver it to the Queen and I wonder:
Will the Queen ever set me free?
When will She grant me the rights to my own life?
Sometimes I wish I could set myself free.
Sometimes, I wish that I was blind.
Current Music: nuetral milk hotel
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giyoe's journal